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‘Then I’m Mother Teresa’

The things they say… Uli Hoeneß

After 30 years as general manager, Uli Hoeneß is stepping down from the day-to-day running of the club to succeed Franz Beckenbauer as president. Hoeneß, dubbed the “attack battalion” by the tabloids in the 1990s, once said of his confrontational style: “Outside football, I have no natural enemies.” presents a selection of the often outspoken but always razor-sharp personality's most celebrated quotes.

“I approach Bayern like it was my own family.”

“I don’t believe we’d have lost the game if it had finished 1-1.”

“He can play for another 100 years and he won’t get past us.”
(On Christoph Daum)

“We’re definitely not going to pay ridiculous prices, but I could certainly imagine paying moderately ridiculous prices.”

“We have an eight-week-old dog at home. He ended up peeking out from under the sofa totally distraught last Sunday, because when Bremen made it 3-1 in Dortmund, I screamed until the walls shook.”

“Do you think we have cash coming out of our a---s?”
(Asked if Bayern would sign another big-name player after Roy Makaay)

“He has an opinion on everything. If two players clash heads in the Czech Republic, he’ll tell you it already happened in Leverkusen back in 1934.”
(On former Leverkusen counterpart Reiner Calmund)

“It's no use bringing in a player who’s always on the front cover of Bravo Sport. We want players who are on the front cover of Kicker.”
(Asked if he could imagine signing David Beckhams for Bayern)

“In the case of Ottmar Hitzfeld, it’s not like it is with George Bush, where everyone’s delighted when he finally goes.”

“Bremen should enjoy first place at Christmas. But Santa Claus was never the Easter Bunny.”
(On the fact that the title race is never decided until the spring)

“They fought like lions – or like tigers. We’re not allowed to say Lions.”
(The attitude towards bitter city rivals 1860 Munich)

“I always wore shin-pads for training, because I knew that if Franz ‘Bulle’ Roth took against me, he’d put me on the running track. Training was a fight for survival – and that’s helped me come on a very long way.”
(On his playing days)